the function key

Very funny. See more here.

It’s Friday! Why not add to your excitement by watching this iPod Shuffle short? And then pass it on . . . it’s that funny.

June 29, 2007: Apple releases its much-anticipated iPhone with a retail price set at $599. Sadly, I cannot afford one.

September 5, 2007: Apple discontinues the 4GB iPhone and cuts the price of the 8GB model to $399. I still remain unable to affford the price of entry.

July 11, 2008: Apple will release a new 3G model of the iPhone, with the price of the 8GB model dropped to $199. It would seem that with this new price point, your’s truly might actually get his hands on one. Paradoxically, this is not the case. Despite Apple’s announcement that the iPhone’s price is now $199, it has made a couple of other pricing changes with AT&T that are not so well-advertised: 1) the personal unlimited data plan will cost an aditional $10 per month, a price increase of $240 dollars over the course of the two year contract, and 2) the voice plan no longer includes 200 text messages per month, instead requiring a seperate $5 per month plan, a price increase of $120 over the course of the contract. With these changes, it can easily be argued that the new iPhone 3G is actually $120 more expensive than the first-generation iPhone. If you’ve been paying attention thus far, you probably already know that I, still, cannot afford one.

But Lo! Have I discovered the iPhone for me? I think I have– Behold, the iPhone Knit!

Polaroid’s answer to printing cell phone photos? The Polaroid PoGo. It instantly prints cell phone photos so now you can keep your goofy self-portraits forever! Look for the PoGo to hit Target and Best Buy  stores in July.

For more information, check out the Polaroid Web site, and be sure to watch the really, really cute commercial, below.

It can easily be said that the Wii is the most “3rd-party-accessory-inspiring” product since the iPod. Like the beloved mp3 player’s myriad docking stations and protective cases, the Wii has its own slew of recharging stations, putters, steering wheels, neon-colored grips, zapper guns, etc., etc. The Wii’s unique player interface also allows itself to be modified and hacked in creative ways, many examples of which can be found on the Web. The Wii Spray Can is the latest in highly-inspired designs of modified Wii controllers.

The spray can design is part of Martin Lihs’ final thesis at Bauhaus-University in Weimar, Germany. Dismantling the guts of a Wii Remote, Mr. Lihs placed them inside a cylinder, which he designed to mimic a spray can, and topped it with what appears to be a German Grey Dot thin cap. The Wii Remote techology has been modified to connect to buttons along the outside walls of the “can,” and more importantly, to the spray nozzle, thus allowing the user to control an onscreen virtual can of paint.

As mentioned above, the Wii has already released several plastic caddies which create a unique controller specific to the game; the success of these custom controllers is a testament to the direction in which the video game industry is moving, as gamers enjoy the creative adaptation to the traditional console paddle. The Wii Spray Can could be applied to a re-release of Marc Ecko’s 2006 creation, Getting Up, which enjoyed only average success, or the lighter Jet Set Radio series, created by Sega in 2000. It’s also possible that the Wii Spray Can could be used as a cool implement in an open-ended art & design software.

Have you caught wind of the new Web site: iamneurotic.com? The basic jist: readers send in their neuroses, and then they’re published and shared on the site, in turn creating some kind of bizarre camaraderie among the high-strung individuals of the world — genius.

Interested in the concept, I contacted the creator/editor (who prefers to remain nameless) with a couple of my own questions:

Me: When did you launch your site?

Neurotic: End of April 2008.

Me: Why neuroses?

Neurotic: My friends and I have a lot of neuroses. I thought it would be funny to share them anonymously with each other and other people. I hoped that people would feel some sort of relief in sharing their often hidden neuroses, take comfort in knowing that other people are neurotic too, and see that sometimes we share the same neuroses. Neuroses are a great human equalizer.

Me: Which “issues” see the most submissions? Does this get annoying?

Neurotic: I see lots of submissions about cracks in the roads or sidewalks. People can’t step on them or have to step on them a certain number of times or can only step on specific cracks. There are a ton of submissions about counting and arranging candy like M&Ms and Skittles. Lots of people can’t sleep unless their doors are closed, have to count the number of letters in their words, or add the digits in time and license plates. It’s not so annoying; it’s fascinating to see how many people share the same neuroses. Unfortunately, I can’t post every single neurosis I receive, including the repeats. I try to post ones that I haven’t seen before. However, I do have a plan for how to deal with multiple submissions of the same neuroses so stay tuned!

Me: Do you have any noteworthy neuroses?

Neurotic: Hmmmm. There are so many interesting and amusing neuroses out there that it’s hard to choose. I like the car ones because people do really funny things when they’re in cars, such as imagining bouncing balls, or “clicking” every time they pass something, or trying to avoid driving over the reflectors in the road. There are a bunch of posts that seem to resonate with a lot of people such as “multiple bumps,” or “in a car, imagining a ball, grinding my teeth.”

Neurotic: Ha! I’m pretty sure I’m not famous, and there is no fortune to follow. However, I do plan to add more features to the site and drink more 5-Hour Energies to keep up with the pace.

Me: Anything else you want to share?

Neurotic: I am so neurotic that I had to read over my answers to these questions at least 15 times because I think that my self-diagnosed dyslexia causes me to screw up my writing.

Ahh, isn’t it nice to know that you’re not the only crazy in the world? Be sure to check out the Web site, and pass it along to the neurotic characters in your life!

I don’t own an iPod. Well, OK, technically I do, but it’s a Shuffle, not a fancy-schmancy gadget with a touchscreen or anything. And, I’m kind of afraid to use it because it’s been sitting at the bottom of my gym bag for about a year, eek. But all personal asides aside, if I did happen to own an iPod, I would definitely rock out all summer long with this Boombox iPod dock by Lasonic.

It conjures visions of first grade, when I would strut around the playground with a Fisher Price tape deck on my shoulder, blasting Kylie Minogue’s “Locomotion,” and trying to start a dance train. Perhaps I watched too many episodes of KIDS Incorporated or the Mickey Mouse Club. Either way, Lasonic’s Boombox kicks my dinky Fisher Price ass. I can only imagine where I would be today if I would’ve had one back then . . .

When I first discovered these objects, I wasn’t quite sure what they were. Obviously they look like cd’s, but I found myself wondering, why on earth would anyone take the time to screenprint intricate designs on cd’s and sell them? I wondered if they contained music, a film, anything at all. Turns out, they don’t. They’re just blank cd’s that Chicago-based 5inch, individually screenprinted, so that you(?) could burn music or video, or anything at all onto them. I’m baffled.

I thought about the concept for a minute, would I buy them? They are pretty cool to look at, and I guess it’s an interesting, although totally unpractical concept. I suppose you could use them to burn mixed-discs for your friends . . . or something. Then I checked the price and quantity — 10 discs for 12.25 — and decided, I wouldn’t buy them but instead share their idealistic charm with you.

FYI Bostonians, I see a personal day in your future, the new Apple Store on Bolyston St. opens Thursday . . . and I’ll be out of town.

In Japan there are more than 570, 000 cigarette vending machines responsible for doling out ciggies and adhering to the smoking age requirement of 20 years old. As you can imagine, machines are less than perfect at identifying a smoker’s age — a 2004 survey discovered that 17-18-year-old Japanese teenagers smoked every day.

Fear not you sticklers! Due to the new technology developed by Fujitaka Co., cigarette vending machines are set to have a face lift, er, a facial recognition lift that is. Just in time for legislation that requires vending machines to ensure the age of buyer’s, Fujitaka Co. has introduced an addition to the vending machines — a digital camera. Each camera, equipped with facial recognition technology, will snap the customer’s picture and quickly determine (based on bone structures, wrinkles, and skin sagging) if the smoker is of age to make the purchase.