A friendly reminder from your Function Key editor: Bidding on Ian Usher’s life, has officially started. Aren’t sure what I’m referring to? See my March 20, 2008 post below, it’ll key you in. Be sure to check out Ian’s Web site (link below) right quick, bidding ends on June 29th.
From The Function Key:
Are you looking to try something different? How about a different life? Faced with the aftermath of a painful divorce, Ian Usher of Perth, Australia, decided to sell his current life and move on. On June 22, 2008 you can bid on Ian’s life, including his house, job, lifestyle, and everything else that comes with it. Bidding starts at AU$1. Good luck!
Floor plan of Ian’s house . . . nice!
And his car . . . a little less enticing.
Be sure to visit his Web site for more information: A Life 4 Sale.
You know it’s gonna be a good day when you make money on your way to work (ok, so what if it was just laying on the ground and I picked it up? I’m still $5 richer than I was when I woke up), and then upon arrival get an email from TOMS shoes saying they want to send you a gift!
I just finished reading Todd Purdum’s article, “The Comeback Id,” about Bill Clinton in July’s issue of Vanity Fair. If you watch or read anything gossip or celebrity related, surely you’ve heard of the piece — mostly because, in it, the author refers to the possibility that the former president has had two affairs since leaving the White House.
I waited with bated breath for this issue to arrive in my mailbox . . . the press coverage surrounding the magazine (which also features Angelina Jolie in her seemingly constant pregnant glory on the cover) began a whole two weeks before I was even able to open its pages, so you can imagine my suspense. Finally, I found the issue sitting pretty inside my mailbox and tore open the protective plastic wrap, searching fervently for Mr. Purdum’s article.
In my mind, I was about to read highly-vaulted, juicy details of Bill’s tawdry affairs with actress Gina Gershon and Canadian MP Belinda Stronach, but what I found left me wondering why the press had even bothered to mention the alleged scandals — one lousy little sentence in eight-page article. ONE SENTENCE! Are you kidding me? My super-excited bubble burst.
And here, I’ll spare you the $4.00 cover price, this is what it reads:
Over the last few years, aides have winced at repeated tabloid reports about Clinton’s episodic friendship and occasional dinners out with Belinda Stronach, a twice-divorced billionaire auto-parts heiress and member of the Canadian Parliament 20 years his junior, or at more recent high-end Hollywood dinner-party gossip that Clinton has been seen visiting with the actress Gina Gershon in California.
That’s it. No expounding upon the relationships with the ladies, no sordid details. Just one sentence in an article with hundreds, maybe even thousands of well-written sentences. Sure there were mentions of his other suspicious associations with women in general, but no fine print to back up the Gershon/Stronach rumors. And what hype that allegation produced — a quick Google search for “Bill Clinton affair rumor” garners 256,000 hits, all stemming from that one sentence in Mr. Purdum’s article alone.
So, I ask myself, what is wrong with the media? In an article that covers President Clinton’s questionable business dealings (like his three high-yield investments with Ron Burkle, California supermarket chain titan, and whose name I cannot say without feeling uneducated), the shady, bachelor-laden company he keeps (Mr. Burkle and Steven Bing — father of Liz Hurley’s son), or his inability to stay afloat in the changing face of politics (bloggers, Myspace, etc.), it is the singular mention of alleged affairs with a Hollywood actress and a wealthy Canadian auto-parts heiress, occupying one sentence, that fuels pop culture headlines and gets throngs of (otherwise politically unsavvy) gossip mongers’ tongues wagging.
The obvious answer is that sex sells, but the underlying answer, the more plausible one, is that the gossip entertainment industry doesn’t have enough Hollywood-starlet news to fill its 30-minute time slots or 100-page glossies. When rising stars stop hitting the crack pipe and no longer need rehab, the cameras stop shooting. When the cameras stop shooting, the industry has to get creative to get its stories, turning to politics, reality TV, daytime talk show hosts, and instead exploiting their boring, semi-normal habits.
That Hillary’s better-half flew around the world via private jet to Kazhakstan in 2005 to dine with President Nursultan Nazarbayev — a man whose human rights record has more than raised eyebrows in the US government as of late — so that his good friend, Frank Giustra, a Canadian mining magnate, could get the Kazhakstani president’s approval to allow Giustra’s company to buy into three Kazakhstan-controlled uranium projects doesn’t matter. But to be linked to a Hollywood actress? Now that’s news.
I don’t have kids. In fact, I probably never will, it’s just not something that interests me. But, I do know lots of people who do have little ones, and if you fall into that category, might I suggest a lovely Father’s Day gift for you?
Now admittedly, this is a shameless family plug: my cousin’s wife, Teri Weidner, is a children’s book illustrator, and her newest project, “Say Daddy!,” is out just in time for Father’s Day. Although, if you want to get the real scoop on the book, check out what my cousin, Chris Dahlen, had to say about it. He does justice to her craft much better than I.
Bleak are the television programs on-air as of now — the end of the Spring means lots of re-runs and filler shows (i.e., that horrid Denise Richards dramedy on E!). But don’t despair, HBO has come to the aid of the waning television viewer: tonight the network kicks off its Documentary Films Series, debuting a new documentary film every Monday night at 9 p.m. This means there is no longer an excuse for getting sucked into shitty reality tv (even though I do love it) or reruns of “Most Outrageous Videos.” Do something good for your brain, and watch a documentary film.
The series premieres with “Roman Polanksi: Wanted and Desired,” which revisits the filmmaker’s infamous legal controversies stemming from alleged intercourse with a minor. Now doesn’t that sound juicier than Denise Richards’ divorce problems? I think so.
Get excited! The Ray and Charles Eames stamps are set to release Tuesday, June 17, to commemorate the American-design patriarch’s 100th birthday. In addition to the USPS stamps, (which the Eames office has been working on for more than 10 years) there will be a dedication ceremony at the Office in Santa Monica, and monthly celebrations on the 17th of each month of 2008 to celebrate Charles’ birthday.
You might have noticed a couple of new additions to The Function Key over the weekend: 1) a new contributor (who goes by the name Mark Graves and also runs the blog SECRET CARGO), and 2) our sweet new header (thanks MG). We’re very excited about the collaboration!
MG brings with him a wealth of knowledge (just check out his posts!) and a great sense of taste and style. Together we plan to bring you a unique compilation of culture, art, and style that sets us apart from the rest of the blogosphere. To kick things off right, check out some of Mark Grave’s posts:
My first encounter with SOYJOY was in the Atlanta-Hartsfield airport during a mind-numbing layover. I purchased a coffee from one of the food vendors, and the cashier handed me eight SOYJOY bars (two of each flavor) for my trouble — promotional samples. Mildly baffled, but simultaneously loving the freebies, I snatched up my bag and found a table. After reading the literature the cashier politely shoved into my hand, I gave the Coconut Mango bar a try . . . it was . . . terrible. I shoved the bar — with the consistency of moistened cardboard and the flavor of coconut syrup — back into the package and worked my way through the rest of the lot. Unfortunately, the experience didn’t improve. I took one bite out of each of the four bars (Coconut Mango, Apple, Berry, and Raisin Almond) and vowed never to put another SOYJOY into my mouth again — a year later and still true to my vow.
Quality of the product aside, SOYJOY does produce pretty amazing commercials. And after doing some digging, I discovered that the product has been sold in Japan for quite sometime and just recently made the US transition. Commercials in Japan are notoriously over the top, and SOYJOY commercials are no different, just check out the “Soypermarket” below for proof. The US commercials, illustrated by artist Simon Peplow are pretty tame in comparison to their Eastern Asian counterparts but nevertheless deliver a visually stimulating experience; and if my initial inundating encounter with SOYJOY hadn’t been so terrible, they would peak my curiosity for the healthy snack.
Despite today’s rain, I think summer has finally arrived in Boston! Now that we’ve turned the corner and left bad weather behind, it’s time for excessive amounts of my two favorite summer treats: beer and kickball!
I just got home from the movie theatre. My girlfriend and I took the opening-weekend plunge and caught an afternoon showing of Sex and the City. Despite the pans from various industry reviews, we both left the theater pleased as punch — and a little cramped. We sat in the second row staring up at the screen and watching the phenomenon that put high-fashion on the lips of middle America for two-plus hours.
I’ve always watched SATC, but I have never, I repeat never, identified myself with any of the four ladies — Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte. I do not take magazines quizzes like, “Which SATC character are you most like?” Nor would you catch me reading the SATC Guide before the movie, like the two fanatics in the row behind me so dutifully perused before the show. The cult following behind the HBO series leaves me severely jaded, and when anyone pontificates about an episode, I immediately lose interest.
And yet, I am hypocrite, because as I spent the afternoon among a sold-out audience of designer handbag-toting, high-heel wearing, Carrie Bradshaw empathizers, I too, willingly indulged my inner girlfriend and loved every minute of it. The writers wrap up every loose end from the series and present it to fans in a pretty little package, tied with a fashion-filled ribbon. And by the end of the film, after crying on more than four occasions, laughing hysterically, and wishing out loud that Carrie would just marry Big already, I immediately thought, I can’t wait to see this again.
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